Thursday 5 February 2015

Do you love your children ?

A very disturbing trend !  Do you really love your children ? It is very nice to know about children with remarkable abilities. Often newspapers carry articles about child prodigies . A child of five has phenomenal memory. Another performs extremely difficult calculations in a trice. There are kids with unusual musical talent. And so on. Fine! But at the same time, we learn several tragic stories also. A boy of eight has failed in his maths paper. His parents react in a bizarre manner. He was locked up and denied food. Sensitive as he is and hurt, the boy takes his own life. Extreme action / reaction on the part of each side. This is just one example. In a family , one child is very bright academically. Another child is not so much endowed. You start comparing one with the other. The psychological damage has already been done. Ambition of parents knows no bounds. They want to mould their children according to their own whims. They drive their kids to hell. My child should excel in everything . Academics, sports, music etc. They don't try to find out the inclination of the child. The child has to go for special coaching in maths, science and English. He has to attend music class. Tennis coaching and so on. Where is the time ? The child has no time for rest and relaxation . My child should get into the best engineering college or IIT. Apart from attending regular college, students attend coaching institutes both in the morning and the evening. Where does all this lead to ? A rat race !  Ambition ! Success at any cost ! Competition ! In this rat race, many are left out with severe psychological damage . We are very impatient . We don't have time to understand our child. We want to fulfill our desires / ambitions through our child. Therefore, it is our will imposed on them. Is it alright ? Why everyone should be an engineer or computer scientist ? At the bottom of it, the motive will be money. It is really unfortunate . 

A Child is not a robot. He has his likes / dislikes ,innate potential for something and not some other thing which you like. He is interested in art. He does not like to do maths. This is a big problem. Understand that each individual is unique. Do not try to mould him into a pattern of your whimsical desires. Try to discover the innate potential of your child. Then help him to develop it. Create an environment which is conducive to the overall development of the child. Your aim should be a harmonious development of head and heart. World needs not only great intellects but good hearts also. An agnostic like Bertrand Russell , a man of no small intellect, 
,finally extolled the greatness of human love . His passion for love was as great as his passion for philosophy. So if you love your child, you will have a different approach to bringing him up. A lopsided development is no good.

Sayee Jayaraman 
06/02/2015

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